I haven't posted in a while sorry, SORRY! PLEASE. FORGIVE. ME. Ohhhhhh.....
Ok the usual apology is out of the way onto the blog. School starts in a week for us lancers and as a favor to you all, I decided to give you a list of tips and tricks to get you through the year. Kind of a grown up, badass version of Ned's Declassified school survival guide. But instead of Ned who was always nice and tried to excel... I will teach you the minimum of what you have to do. Ok? Ok.
1.) Teachers
Let's face it; school is a top-secret, comedy experiment where teachers keep a class captive to test out their material like jokes and stories, and when we don't laugh.... homework is the punishment. The only way to survive often times is to "humor them" and ask teachers questions about their lives and effectively stall them. This will momentary distract them and they will forget about teaching and more importantly... the homework they were supposed to collect which leads me to tip 2...
2.) Never ask about homework. EVER.
Don't talk about the thing that shall not be named. If the teacher is distracted (as per tip 1), they might forget to assign homework. That is if the class SNITCH doesn't bring it up. *slow punch into palm motion* If teachers didn't assign work... then who expects you to do it?
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The typical high schooler's homework process
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3.) Class boredom
Trust me the only way to survive in class is by interaction. One way to interact is to simply talk to the people directly around you. Just pull a Lindsay, and ask people for help when you're stuck. This really helps because not only did this make you a new friend, but if this person actually understands what is going on in class, your grades will go up, and you will have a partner to pair up with for any projects for the rest of the year. Another way to talk to classmates is to just complain about the teacher, your grades, or the homework... You have school in common with literally everyone there. Chances are if someone is sitting next to you in math class.... they are in your math class. Unless, when you go to the bathroom this person is also in the stall next to you. And when you wash your hands, they wait to use the sink next to you, even though all of the other ones are available. Then don't talk to them. They're just creepy.
If you already have friends in your class then yay! One really fun game is to draw a line and then each of you take turns making a picture out of the one line. Also there's always hangman. Watch your teacher carefully. Most teachers have a favorite word or a tic; like they might make a funny face. You can make it a game to tally up how many times they use their special word or make The Face.
If you have no friends in your class and don't want to make any, then you can text people you know in other classes or play games on your phone, read, or even finish homework but make sure your teacher is not strict. If other kids have gotten in trouble for what you are doing right now, don't do it.
4.) Attendance
Carefully assess your teacher, some are very strict about being tardy. However if you have a typical teacher, you can get to class up to 10 min late. I recommend getting there at this time because usually being late is the equivalent of being on time. If you are in class right when the bell rings, the room will be empty and you and the teacher will have some undesired bonding time. The only time you should get to class early is if you want to talk to some friends before class starts or finish some homework, if it is due that period. In fact, a lot of people don't even show up to class. A good rule for ditching: go off campus for lunch, never come back.
When I was in elementary school I used to think high school would be like what I saw on High School Musical. I thought everyone would be peppy all the time, have lockers and would... sing between classes. Ok, maybe not that but I thought I would at least be able to drive, hang out at the mall, have a ton of cute boyfriends and wear midriff bearing tops. (3:50) Yep.
Basically, I thought I would be Brittany Spears... I actually had this fantasy where I was be a cheerleader, but now that I'm here, I'm actually the type of girl who boos at pep rallies. The only team I cheer for is Sunnydale.
And while, I'm the first to admit it; I'm a hater and I'm gonna hate, high school isn't all that bad. Sure, maybe I don't like being in class for hours on end, but just because you hate something with a burning passion doesn't mean you should be a sad sack in your seat, spending 2 hours in a coma until the bell rings. Yes, everyone has done it. I mean we've all had those "me against the world days"... but I mean try something new. Actually listen to the teacher's story. Talk to someone you might have sat next to for a year and learn their name. Show up for some random club. Try out for a sport.
Because yes when it comes down to it, being a slacker is easy. Having a positive attitude; that's hard.
